God, this woman is inspiring.

"And you said- 'All the money in the world won't buy a bed,
so big and wide to guarantee that I won't accidentally touch you in the night.'
I said, 'I guess that's right.' "

Brilliance.

Amanda Palmer's "Bed Song".

Click me.

Your feathers are gone- you'll never fly.

18.

I had the best birthday ever.
The people in my life are the most wonderful in the world.
And honestly I need no one else.

I got this done with one of the best friends I've made up here.
My dad loved it.
And I had dinner with my incredible friends that live here.
I love Boone so much, and it couldn't be more perfect.

"Don't do it,

...because you know what's going to happen."

Oh, Boone.

I always think it's interesting to think about other people's takes on my personality.
Apparently you think I have the potential to be incredibly angry over nothing.
I find this kind of humorous.
Not that I'm without faults, but yeesh.
It'd take a really, really off person to anonymously say incredibly inflammatory things and then openly point out the anger and hate in said statements.
I mean I can have my moments of anger and meanness like any other human being.
(Not that I've ever shown a second of that to you, I don't think.)
But, come on.
This kind of makes me wonder what sort of impression you have of me.

...
and seriously, I didn't even watch it.

Home and leaving it.

So far I've harbored I kind of general disdain for the process of moving from my hometown to college.
Why, you ask?
It's not how much I'll miss everyone or thing that I've invested my time and love into for the past few years (though it's true that I will).
It's not because I'll miss my bed, or my dog, or my mom.
It's not even because I have the same dull sense of fear of the unknown lurking in the back of my head that everyone else continuing into their first year of college does (though it's true that I do).

It's because I'm just so entirely and unequivocally bad at goodbyes.
I can never seem to wrap my head around the fact that this is the last time I might see the person standing in front of me for a while.
And even if I could, what am I supposed to say?
"Yeah, I know that we've been thick as thieves and closer than cousins for the past couple of years, have more shared memories than space on a hard drive and know each other's parents better than our own distant relatives, but peace. It's been real." ?

...yeah, no.

Am I supposed to cry?
I'm just not a cryer.
I feel like just saying "goodbye" is insufficient.

So generally I do what I do best and I avoid things like a possum in the road at night (which has a very literal meaning for me, but that's another story.)
I just start to calculate as hard as I can in my mind "When, exactly, will I see this person again?"
And instead of thinking of some profound goodbye, I just promise to see or speak to them soon, or attend their cousin's-uncle's-mother's get together, etc. and then I walk away, putting off the actual parting to a later date.

Because honestly, that's just so much easier to do.

Moats and boats and waterfalls,
alleyways and pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you.

We laugh until we think we'll die,
barefoot on a summer night,
nothin' new is sweeter than with you.

Home, let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

"If your life had a face, I would punch it."

and it's like ooohhhh,

Round and round and round we go,
will you ever know?


It's always so interesting.


Ridin' some roller coasters tomorrow!

No matter where I am, or how much I love it there,

I will always love the beach more.

We went to the aquarium today,

fish
fish
fish.

Swimmin' around in a little tank. There was a Komodo dragon, too.

Also, after 18 years of mishaps, lost paperwork, and closed offices, I finally have a military ID.

You said "It's more than blood that beats between my heart, my hands, my feet- stuck between my tongue and my teeth."
We don't know,
so we wait for tomorrow.
We don't know,
so we wait for tomorrow.
We don't know,
so we only go forward.

I was going to re-post lyrics to "Sway",
but why?
Today's a new day.
Out with the old and in with new ways.

(I would like to point out that that was very nicely rhymed.)

speak up.

Right on!
A class act president, you are my boss.
I am competent in your eyes.
And they yell, "Move up!"
Don't stand back here and wait like an animal at a farmer's gate.
Am I food or am I free?

I don't think;

that frustrated quite covers it.

every little bit

the bag that holds everything.

Because...why not?




What's in my bag 8/6/10
Usually I just carry my wallet, keys and phone with me. But when I actually have my bag, I have;
-Giant Green Versace; Holds everything and more. Birthday gift from my lovely grandmother.
-Black Moleskine Planner; Plus a pen. I have to write down when and where I have something to do or I absolutely forget.
-Teal correction notebook by EcoSystem;My dance studio uses these for class, but I've also taken to writing down assorted blocking and choreography in this.
-Prayer beads; I made these at Montreat as an activity in the spirituality center.
-Anchor necklace; I always have some sort of anchor with or on me. My dad was in the navy for 20 years, they're his business logo, etc. They're kind of my "thing" as pretentious as that sounds.
-Black clip; For clipping my hair and/or looking like Suzanne Somers on Step by Step.
-Wallet/clutch thing; Because it's good to know where your money's at when you roll like me. Also, I like it because it's big enough to hold my chapstick.
-Orange Sapphire lotion; It smells so good. And my legs get really dry.
-iPod and Headphones; For when I want to wear hooded sweatshirts and drown out the world while I aimlessly walk around the city at night. But really I just plug my iPod into my car, so I keep it in my bag.
-Pink Umbrella; I've been to the mountains a lot this summer. I'm going to school in the mountains this fall. I need an umbrella.
-Gold bracelet cuff from Lucky Penny in Boone; It's oddly shaped and fits my wrist really awkwardly, but it looks cool.
-Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann; I bought this in the mountains because I didn't have a book. I love it so far.
-Dental Floss; Because my swag don't stop.
-Cellular Device; Which would normally be pictured with its charger, since it doesn't function correctly and can't hold a charge.
-assorted make-up products; Which there would be more of, placed in a case if I hadn't left the entirety of my make-up in Black Mountain.
-Mac Brush set; A gift from my aunt a while back. Handy because you never know when you're going to have to cover up your friends' hickeys. Hahah, I'm only joking. No, but really.
-Cortex ProSeries 10CIB curling iron; The love of my life. It's made of magic.


There you are. I hope I've sufficiently occupied the boring afternoon I'm sure you're having if you're actually reading this (:

I have blogged entirely too much today.

"Those who saw him hushed. On Church Street. Liberty. Cortlandt. West Street. Fulton. Vesey. It was a silence that heard itself, awful and beautiful."

My blog is not a fun one.

I don't blog about the latest fashions, or nice pictures I find.
I don't blog about art.
I don't even blog about my life most of the time.
I throw you a couple of song lyrics that usually are just what's stuck in my head.
It's boring,


oh well.

Oh, don't.

I'd write about Montreat, but I'm going BACK tomorrow to visit Brittany.
Later I'm sure I'll write about it all at once.

Maybe.

Possibly.

...hopefully.


That means no
where I come from.
I am cold, out waiting for the day to come.

I chew my lips and I scratch my nose,
feels so good to be a rose.

Oh don't, don't you lift me up.
Like I'm that shy, no no no no no,
just give it up.

some songs are only good acoustic.

Like this one.

So rest assured I have the key to every opening.
To every wishing well that's deep enough to dream.
I want to show you just how fascinating kissing is,
when earth collides with all the space between.

I'm reaching farther than I ever have before.
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore.
I may be some sort of crazy,
We may be some sort of crazy.

Goals

I'm sure I'll write something about Montreat eventually, but right now I don't have the mental capacity to.
It was wonderful.

My demons waltz with me.
They beg me not to leave them alone.